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Chapter
Three: The Lament of Jin Ke: To Be, or Not to Be
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1.
Prelude: The Bard's Account
In Light Year 1603,
William Shakespeare, an acclaimed poet and playwright,
faithfully recorded the following passage narrated by a
mysterious creature he encountered in a London Tavern:
To be, or not
to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler
in mind to suffer
The slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms
against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end
them. To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a
sleep to say we end
The heart-ache, and
the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir
to. 'Tis a consumation
Devoutly to be wish'd.
To die, to sleep;
To Sleep? Perchance
to dream! aye there's the rub;
For in that sleep of
death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled
off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause:
there's the respect
That makes calamity
of such long life;
For who would bear
the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's
wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pang's of depised
love, the law's delay,
The insolence of
office, and the spurns
That patient merit of
the unworthy takes,
When he himself might
his quietus make
With a bare bodkin?
who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat
under a weary life,
But that the dread of
something after death,
The undiscovered
country from whose bourn
No traveler returns,
puzzles the will,
And makes us rather
bear those ills we have
Than fly to others
that we know not of?
Thus conscience does
make cowards of us all,
And thus the native
hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with
the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of
great pitch and moment
With this regard
their currents turn awry
And lose the name of
action.
The Bard did not know however, that this soliloquy came
from a tortured, confused, and sorrowful soul belonged to
an immortal.
2. The Black Sheep
Every flock has a
black sheep. Jin Ke was that black sheep at the Dragon
Shadows. He was in fact, an enigma, a dilemma, and a most
severe case of headache for the rest of Dragon Shadow
residents.
With his impeccable hair, an ice-cold stare, a perfect
built, you know, 6-pack and all, and exquisite tastes in
fashions, Jin Ke stood out even in an already dazzling
Dragon Shadows crowd. However, being blessed with a full
package, Jin Ke found other people's inadequacies quite
irritating. Very lucky few could escape from his sharp
tongue: For example, Jin Ke boasted that he himself was
the one and the only immortal at the Dragon Shadows
despite the fact that Snowman was also immortal.
"Sure Snowman is immortal," Jin Ke would
announce loudly, "But he is not even a pure-blood.
Had Tang Shan not developed a powerful drug for generating
UV-resistance, he would not have been able to roam the
Dragon Shadows in broad day-light and would have been
confined to the darkness forever."
On the formidable police force present in the Dragon
Shadows: Donny, Alan, Lin Dan, Lone Seven, Chiang Ho-Wa,
Terry etc., Jin Ke merely scoffed, "IF you are so
great, how come you have not been able to solve the Jack
the Ripper Case?" (Too bad for the police officers
that the then semi-rehabilitated Snowman was not able to
come forward and confess to everyone of a "heinous
crime" he committed on a cold winter night in 1888.
That night Snowman suddenly had an unquenchable thirst so
he went into a shadowy street in London...and sucked a
gentleman carrying a suitcase full of surgical knives
"dry" literally...)
In Jin Ke's eyes, Tsao Siu Yen would be too
"feminine," Chen Jun too "brawny,"
Leung Pok-To too "goofy," Eddie too
"green," Nan Lan too "stubborn," Hung
Hei-Kwan and Kei Ying too "stiff," Cat and Yip
Cheung too "gloomy," etc....
Even Sky, the one person at the Dragon Shadows whom Jin Ke
admired, was not completely immune to Jin Ke's quibbles,
as Jin Ke found Sky's fashion tastes utterly intolerable,
"How shabby you look in this dirt-color! You should
try black Armani; you would definitely look more
dashing!" Jin Ke would sincerely advise Sky,
"If you don¡¯t like modern stuff, at least try Tsao
Siu Yen's dress. The embroidery of his dress is so
FINE."
The reactions from the residents upon hearing Jin Ke's
comments ranged from Sky smiling softly, Tsao Siu Yen
sneering in contempt, Snowman flashing his superb white
teeth, Chen Jun clenching his fist of fury, Cat, Yip
Cheung and the police officers reaching for their assorted
weaponries, Nan Lan dipping a piece of rag into a bucket
of water, Kei Ying drawing a half circle on the ground
with his right foot,¡ to Eddie breaking down into... oh
well, dances and tears...
...
The most dreaded event for the Dragon Shadows residents,
except for Jin Ke of course, would be the movie night each
month. As a mandatory community activity all residents
would go to the Bean Town Common's high-tech equipped IMAX
Theater to see a most recent blockbuster film. Jin Ke, who
was so used to being in the spotlight for so long, never
failed to make himself a spectacle for the fellow
moviegoers.
(A side note: Well, obviously seeing more than 20
identical-looking, and incredibly gorgeous, attractive
guys was quite a sensational experience. Fellow moviegoers
would constantly forget to look at the movie screen,
instead they would be completely fascinated and mesmerized
by this unique group of hot guys and they would gape at
them instead, even in the complete darkness. Ah yes, it's
recorded that the average body temperature for the female
moviegoers would consistently rise by 20 degrees, heart
beat would rise by 3 times, and ambulances would be called
in an average of 27 times during a movie to carry away
some swooned females. End of the side note.)
Jin Ke always made himself quite a spectacle not just
because of his flawless hair and immaculate attires.
Having lived for so long, Jin Ke knew way too many things
down to their minute details that those poor filmmakers
failed to pay attention to. For example, when they went to
see Gladiator, Jin Ke never stopped informing his fellow
Dragon Shadowers some of the blatant mistakes, "Wow,
it's 181 AD, they had not invented the stirrups on horses
yet. You know, I was in Rome at that time."
"Why are they speaking Italian? It did not exist back
then." "Look, there is a guy in BLUE
JEANS!" ... Most recently the entire community
celebrated Sky's birthday by dining in Chinatown, and
watching Hero, a film that documented Sky's honorable and
courageous actions. All went well until Jin Ke suddenly
jumped up right at the beginning of the film. "This
is WRONG! This is all wrong! They are not supposed to wear
HELMETS! The Chin soldiers NEVER wore helmets!" Sky's
birthday party was, of course, completely ruined after
that.
What perplexed the fellow Dragon Shadowers was that
comments like these from Jin Ke would generally induce
unanimous groans from themselves, but somehow would elicit
screams and shrieks from some female moviegoers who
appeared to be wowed by Jin Ke's extensive knowledge. Some
would even yell out loud, "Jin Ke, You are DA
BOMB!" "I LUV U! Jin!" "Marry me! Ke!"
The rest of the Dragon Shadows residents could only sadly
shake their heads collectively, "Must be different
Hormones!"
Jin Ke, as concluded by his fellow residents, was the BIG
FAT BLACK SHEEP of the Dragon Shadows.
3. Knowledge
Conquers All
There were, however,
two notable exclusions from the list of the individuals
who had to endure the misfortune of being ridiculed by Jin
Ke of their inadequacies. These lucky two were Shiang
Chin-Fei and Tang Shan. With the most revered Sky not even
exempt from the list, what made these two so special that
they were left relatively unscathed?
There were two kinds of people Jin Ke did not want to get
involved with: A band of greedy, ruthless immortals who
vied to be the most powerful immortals of the universe,
and a very distinct group of people who wore thick, thick
glasses and did very well in school.
As fate had it, Jin Ke, who had the ill fortune of falling
into a hapless trap with a gang of greedy, ruthless
immortals before coming to the Dragon Shadows, found
himself living right next-door to two scholars with thick
thick glasses (though Tang Shan wore contact lenses most
of the time) and impressive resumes.
Shiang Chin-Fei was the United Stars¡¯ most famous
scholar in universal literature, universal history, and
universal philosophies with:
B.A. in Philosophy¡ªYale University;
Rhodes Scholar¡ªTrinity College Cambridge;
Ph. D. in History--Columbia University;
Ph. D. in English Literature--Oxford University;
Honorary Ph. D. degree--Harvard University Fairbanks
Center;
University Professor¡ªUnited Stars University
Books published and in press: 6300.
Tang Shan was the most famous US biochemist, surgeon,
psychiatrist, etc., with numerous degrees and titles from
many renowned Medical Schools in UK. He had published 7270
papers in prestigious journals such as Nature Science NE
Medical Journals etc. He held 1963 US patents on drugs,
techniques etc., and many, many more pending. (As
mentioned before, Tang Shan pioneered in a research that
eventually led to a serum which enabled poor souls like
Snowman to venture out in daylight.)
In addition to their solid academic records, these two
gentlemen were surprisingly athletic, easily breaking the
presumption that people who wore thick thick glasses and
did well in school were no good in Kung Fu. Shiang Chin-Fei
could do scorpion-kick (back kick over his head) with
ease, Tang Shan could swing a chained axe like a yo-yo.
Jin Ke recoiled every time he saw these two gents not
because their sharp kung fu skills greatly intimidated him
--no one could better Jin Ke when it came down to martial
arts skills--, but because Jin Ke was painfully aware that
a gentleman who fought with his "mouth," was far
more lethal than one who fought with his fists.
One time, the easily bored Jin Ke was bored again, and
decided to play a prank on the innocent Chen Jun, whose
favorite line happened to be, "I didn¡¯t study much
so don¡¯t you lie to me." Jin Ke had already
prepared to say, if his prank had been carried out
successfully, "I know you did not study much, so I
lied to you, what can you do about it?", but ALAS he
targeted the wrong person--since all the residents of the
Dragon Shadows looked ridiculously alike, once in every 3
times they mistook one for another themselves¡ª it was
Tang Shan instead who listened to Jin Ke boasting, as a
matter of fact, lying about, how many thugs he fended off
single-handedly the day before.
Jin Ke was only trying to lure Chen Jun into a fight, that's
all. But for the next 4 hours 55 minutes Jin Ke was
bombarded with sentences such as "human brain has 100
billion neurons. They form complex neuronal networks.
Which brain cells did you say that you destroyed when you
said those people could not even recognize
themselves?" "There are 206 bones in a human's
body, so you said you broke every single bone of 27 people
yesterday, that's a total of 5562 bones you crushed."
¡
Tang Shan cut short his assessments on the
"damages" done to those thugs only when he had
to perform CPR on Jin Ke for about 5 minutes. Jin Ke, the
greatest warrior and the most invincible immortal of all,
had blanked out after 4 hours and 55 minutes of listening
to surgical terms and scientific analyses.
For the first time in his life, Jin Ke thought he had seen
DEATH.
Jin Ke did not know whether it was his fortune, or
misfortune, that he was resuscitated.
With this near-death experience, it is understandable that
Jin Ke NEVER showed off in front of Tang Shan again.
Things were even worse with Shiang Chin-Fei. On one
occasion Jin Ke was munching on some McDonald's Chicken
Nuggets. Being quite restless all the time, it was very
natural that he was juggling the nuggets in the air¡ and
some of them accidentally landed on a huge pile of Shiang
Chin-Fei's papers, and soiled them.
It was rather an innocent action. Jin Ke never expected
that Shiang Chin-Fei would make such a big deal out of it.
In a fashion of Plato refuting Thrasymachus, in a manner
of Kant critiquing pure reason, in a passion of Nietzsche
conjuring up Superman, and citing Descartes, Pascal,
Voltaire, Rousseau, Bergson, Sartre, Hegel, and Bible,
Shiang Chin-Fei pounded Jin Ke's eardrums with lengthy
lectures on why Jin Ke's action was an injustice to all
human kind.
Jin Ke's ears were still ringing after 3 days, and to make
the matter worse, he actually felt he did something wrong,
even though he still had absolutely no idea why eating
some harmless chicken nuggets could bring devastation and
destruction to the man kind.
As acknowledged in both ancient Egyptian and Chinese
texts, knowledge is the most powerful of all. Written in
hieroglyphs, The Satire of Trades noted, "Be a
scribe. Your limbs will be sleek, your hands will grow
soft. You will go forth in white clothes honored with
courtiers saluting you."
KNOWLEDGE CONQUERS ALL. Jin Ke could do nothing but accept
this SAD truth.
4. The Lament
Jin Ke's fellow
Dragon Shadows residents had slowly adjusted to life with
Jin Ke as the official disturber of peace, but nothing
prepared them for one major event occurred on a beautiful
spring day.
It was 6 am in the morning. The sun rose on time.
Everywhere in the village, flowers were blooming, and
birds were singing merrily in the trees. Most of the
Dragon Shadowers had been up for a while¡ªthis was a
diligent group of people, remember, intensive morning
workouts were required to maintain their fabulous abs and
biceps¡ªexcept for Jin Ke.
Jin Ke reluctantly pulled himself out of the bed and
stepped into the bathroom. The huge bathroom mirror on the
marble wall reflected a handsome face, but somehow there
were a few ugly dark circles under the eyes.
Jin Ke sighed. He slowly cleaned up, and strolled out of
his house. Looking up, he saw a perfectly blue sky soaring
above the Dragon Shadows. He was suddenly overcome with a
flood of strong emotions. With his eyes closed and in his
deep, magnetic voice, Jin Ke uttered the following
sentimental words:
To be, or not
to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler
in mind to suffer
The slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms
against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end
them. To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a
sleep to say we end
The heart-ache, and
the thousand natural shocks
Sometimes words could KILL! Jin Ke's lament generated a
huge shockwave, equivalent of one from a Richter MS 40.2
degree earthquake, that reached every single corner of the
Dragon Shadows:
At the epicenter was the not so easily disturbed Sky, who
was enjoying his breakfast. He almost choked on a piece of
French Toast (oh, correction, Freedom Toast)!
Tang Shan, holding a cup of hot coffee, was reading
newspapers. Before he knew it, the coffee was all over his
lap (No the coffee was not from McDonald's).
Lin Dan was installing a satellite dish on the roof. The
shockwave knocked him off, and two and half somersaults
later he landed flat on his back on top of a Lexus parked
below.
Wong Kei Ying was performing acupuncture on Tsao Siu-Yen.
The "seismic" energy shook his hand so violently
that he almost poked Siu-Yen in the eye.
Siu-Yen, with his great reflexes, dodged the needle just
in time. He sprinted toward the door for safety, but in
full speed he ran into Fung Man-Hin who was carrying a
basin of hot water¡
Cat was just returning from a morning run in his brand-new
Porsche and was ready to park his car. He stepped on the
gas instead of the brake, and the Porsche crashed through
Tang Shan's fences, smashed down Shiang Chin-Fei's garden
gate, and swerved into Chiang Ho-Wa's BMW.
Commander Lan was practicing his cloth-stick technique
with a piece of rag and a bucket of water. The bucket
ended up flying straight up and falling right over his
head, and the piece of wet rag became so tightly tied
around his neck that he felt he was not going to live
anymore.
Hung Hei Kwan was studying archery. An arrow released from
his bow ran a bizarre course of flying through an open
window of Alan's living room, coming within 0.02 inch next
to Alan's left ear, flying out of another open window of
Alan's living room, coming within 0.001 inch of Chen Jun's
nose, and hitting Chen Jun's beloved Paper Crane from Yumi
right in the heart¡
Donny and Eddie had been up all night playing PS2 fighting
games. Their respective game characters were destroyed in
a record time of 0.003 seconds.
¡
The only person among the Dragon Shadowers who survived
this "earthquake" relatively unharmed was
Snowman, whose hearing was not always 100 percent.
Jin Ke slowly opened his eyes. To his astonishment, he saw
that the Dragon Shadows was in complete disarrays, as if
it had been swept across by a tornado, and his fellow
residents all looked like they had been hit by his
trade-mark jumping back kick 40000 times.
"What happened?!" Jin Ke asked his
friends, with a quizzical look on his face, "Why do
you all look so disheveled?"
The permanently graceful Sky was the first person to
regain his composure. Despite being still out of breath
after taking a great effort swallowing down that piece of
Freedom Toast, he was more concerned for his friend's
well-being than himself, "Is everything OK with you,
Brother Jin? Why did you say such,¡ such¡
things?" He was very careful with his words, since he
did not want to hurt Jin Ke's feelings.
Tang Shan, after concluding that the burn he suffered did
not warrant serious medical treatment, was more than eager
to lend his expertise, "Well, those words were merely
reflections of his mental state as they let out some of
his feelings. He probably experienced an episode of severe
depression." He gave Jin Ke a sympathetic glance.
Lin Dan, his whole body aching terribly from the hard
fall, was not so sympathetic, "He has always been
like that, you know, either carrying a Poker Face around,
or a nasty one as if everyone of us owed him 2000
dollars." Many more acerbic words could have poured
out of his mouth had he not been stopped by a light tap on
his shoulder. Cat, whose normally glamorous sunglasses
were missing one of the lenses, whispered in Lin Dan's
ears, "Hey buddy, don¡¯t remind him that. I borrowed
$100000 last month from him for my new Porsche. I was
hoping he had forgotten that."
¡
To everybody's surprise, Jin Ke did not respond to their
inquiries or accusations by throwing a fit, and Sky and
the others gasped when they saw a mist gradually clouded
Jin Ke's big, dark, pretty eyes: Could it be true? Jin Ke,
the immortal who had feared nothing for more than 2000
years, was on the brink of¡ tears.
"What is it? Why are you having so much sorrow?"
Sky asked with grave concerns, "Jin, please, tell
us."
Sky might look like he did not care about anything or
anybody, but deep down, he had a heart of gold. Jin Ke
might have said some unpleasant things about him, but he
never took them to heart. It was evident to everyone else
that he was nice to Jin Ke, since he never joined any
anti-Jin Ke demonstration in front of the Fanning
Committee Headquarter, and there had been rumors that he
actually found Jin Ke's behaviors quite amusing and
entertaining. Indeed Sky doted on Jin Ke quite a bit, like
a big brother doting on his little brother.
"I am a certified psychiatrist. Tell me your woes, my
friend, I should be able to help." Tang Shan added
another inquiry earnestly .
"The End Game!" Jin Ke finally broke down into
sobs. "Why did I agree to play the Endgame?!"
5. The Endgame
Jin Ke had never
lost to any immortals. Never! His fighting styles were
inferior to none.
For thousands of years he was his own master, traveling
all over the world. He was independent, he was FREE, until
he met Kell, a sinister, power-hungry and ruthless
immortal.
Kell challenged Jin Ke to a duel. Whoever lost, he said,
would have to take orders from the other for 172 days
counting from the second of his loss. Jin Ke, being
supremely confident in his own abilities, agreed to the
duel. However he made one fatal mistake: He allowed
Kell to choose weapons and rules for the duel.
Kell, played a despicable trick on Jin Ke: The weapon he
chose was a deck of cards! He challenged Jin Ke to a card
game: The Endgame!
Jin Ke was not good at card games.
Jin Ke was not good at card games, or computer games, or
PS2 games.
Jin Ke did not even know how to play the Endgame.
Jin Ke lost.
For the first time, Jin Ke lost to another immortal, and
an immortal who came into being more than 1500 years after
him nonetheless.
Jin Ke never felt more despair. However, Jin Ke was a man
of his words, a man of honor. And 172 days for an immortal
was fortunately not too long.
So for the next five months or so, Jin Ke was stuck with a
group of heartless, foul-mouthed, hideous bums, the so
called "posse" of Kell's.
For more than five months, Jin Ke unwillingly aided Kell
in taking out some immortals.
Sometimes being immortal can be miserable. "You have
to see your friends die, your loved ones die, and you
alone linger in the world. Besides, it can get very
boring. So what is the big deal if an immortal dies?"
Jin Ke thought. Several times in his lengthy life and
under some influences, even Jin Ke himself contemplated of
ending it, like this one time when he was quite drunk in a
London tavern, but for one reason or another, he decided
against it.
The experienced Jin Ke soon detected that Kell was hiding
one evil scheme: He was not going to eliminate just a few
immortals, he was going to kill them all.
One day Kell summoned Jin Ke and his posse to a supper,
after he eliminated all but several immortals in the
world. During the supper, Kell revealed his ultimate
evil motive: He was going to kill everyone in the posse,
and Jin Ke as well.
Kell knew too well, that Jin Ke, once his contract
fulfilled, would definitely be too dangerous for him.
However, Kell made one tiny miscalculation. Jin Ke
lost to him in the Endgame exactly at EST
4:33:33.33333 pm 172 days ago. It was 4:33:33.33334pm when
he raised his twin blades in front of Jin Ke.
Jin Ke's contract to Kell had expired exactly 0.00001
second ago.
Jin Ke knew it!
With a lightening speed, Jin Ke jumped away from Kell's
threatening blades,... and he was gone.
He was FREE again!
6. Mending Ways
"Wait, wait a
minute," Lin Dan suddenly yelled out, "I
remember I read a newspaper article around that time,
about finding your severed head and body at the scene. But
here you are standing right in front of us, live and well,
that means you were not¡ I am so confused¡"
Jin Ke sadly hung his head, "I know. Whenever I think
about it, my heart aches."
"But it was not my head, nor my body."
"No?!"
"It was the last day that I was working for him you
know, I knew Kell was not going to let me off
easily. How could I let anyone but myself take my
precious head? So I brought something special to the
meeting."
"What?"
"Well, I called Steven Speilberg up...He loaned me
one of the props he used in his movie A.I., you know,
those talking moving robots¡ I had one fixed into
looking just like me¡"
"I brought it to the supper, and hid it under the
table before everyone arrived. As soon as Kell raised his
blades, I sprinted away from him, and pulled the robot
out, and I just did 3 somersaults and two butterfly twists
in the air and just like that, I was gone¡ I was too
fast for him, he could not see any of my moves."
Jin Ke had a satisfying smile on his face.
"So it was the robot, instead of me, standing there,
holding my sword, shaking head, waiting to have his head
chopped off!"
Everyone looked at Jin Ke in disbelief! The story was just
too incredulous, even for these well seasoned veterans.
Jin Ke felt a little hurt that no one seemed to believe
his story, "I am not lying. If you don¡¯t believe
me, go check yourselves. Someone took possession of that
robot's head. I just saw it being auctioned off on-line
the other day¡the website is:
http://www.propstore.co.uk/list.php?cat_id=2&pos=&num_display=10&view=0&ob=mov&movs=74"
;
Shiang Chin-Fei
immediately checked his computer, and sure enough,
Jin Ke's story was true.
"Now Kell is dead! And You are fine!" Sky patted
Jin Ke on his back, "All is well! Dear brother, do
not lament anymore. You see, we are all here for
you."
There were some murmurs of ambiguous approval from the
crowd. However Sky did hear someone say, "Only
you!"
Jin Ke's eyes brightened, "Yes, Brother Sky. Thank
you. Thank you all. With your support, I shall not lament
again, and I want to declare to everyone right now: I have
learned one precious lesson from this mishap."
"What lesson?"
"Men for the most part can mend their ways only after
they have made a mistake."
"From now on, I will not play any games, whether it's
card games, or computer games, or PS2 games."
"Good for you," Sky smiled upon Jin Ke.
"Well well well. So, you are going to mend your ways.
We will see for that. Does that mean you are not going to
jump up in the middle of a movie and cry out loud?"
Lin Dan said, sarcastically.
"Or you are going to fix my paper crane?" Chen
Jun held out the damaged paper crane, tears in his eyes.
"Are you paying for my fences?"
"And my garden gate?"
"Are you going to replace my Porsche with a new
one?" Cat gingerly raised the question while thinking
to himself, "hmmm¡,maybe I can get another $100000
out of him?"
"YES! YES! I am going to mend my ways! I am a CHANGED
man."
With a big smile on his face, Jin Ke reassured the others.
It was the happiest day for ALL residents of Dragon
Shadows.
7. Epilogue
A month after the
incident, the Fanning Committee again started to receive
complaint letters against Jin Ke.
The Fanning Committee raised their concerns to Jin Ke
after receiving 2003 complaints.
"I thought you said you were going to mend your
ways." The Chair of the Fanning Committee, 77, threw
a huge pile of complaint letters in front of Jin Ke.
"What's this?"
Jin Ke took a quick glance at those files, then replied,
with the most innocent and most honest look ever,
"Dear madam, what I said was, and I repeat, Men for
the most part can mend their ways only after they have
made a mistake."
"How can I mend my ways if I do not make any
mistakes?"
...
THE END!
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